the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
cat food counts as protein by the way
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
