u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
