clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
