her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
