good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
