But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
