just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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