They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
