just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize