this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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