that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
a search helicopter?!
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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