Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
