Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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