do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My breasts were aching with rage.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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