why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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