saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize