today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
