The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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