"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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