i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
