I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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