The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
