This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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