people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
