Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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