i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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