I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize