i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
