D3 body, D1 cock
he wants to bone in the snuggie
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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