She's JV to your varsity
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I bet he comes in French.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
