I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
