today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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