It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
