I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
