then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
