thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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