I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize