I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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