Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
