ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
