Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
