We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
