Can Purell be used as lube?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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