My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
