I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
