is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
