how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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