After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
love makes seman taste better
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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