Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
