You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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