Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
