how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
