He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
