I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
