You smell like a Billy Joel song
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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