Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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