And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
