Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
