Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
