Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
