It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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