Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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