That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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